My paraplegic boyfriend has once before became very belittling and angry with me when sex didn’t go his way. Last Sunday he broke his leg practicing a floor transfer. Since then he has been staying with me and my girlfriend role has become that of total caregiver. I don’t mind because I love him. His cast which goes all the way to his thigh weighs a ton and makes transfers very difficult. He has suffered a few falls while transferring and my back is tore up from trying to lift him. Last night after giving him a sponge bath and washing his hair in my kitchen sink we went to bed to watch a movie. After the movie I asked him if he would take my power massager and rub my back with it. He snidely said it was a little late for that. I told him that I was hurt because I have been doing everything for him and haven’t asked for a thing. He then snapped like a twig. He mocked me, made fun of me, told me I was just like his ex wife and proceeded to call me by her name in a degrading way. I quietly asked him to stop yelling at me at which point he made na na na noises over my speaking. I left the room to sleep on the sofa and told him I’d wake him (as I always do) when it was time for him to cath. He laid in my bed screaming my name until I went back in. He got in his chair and called his son crying asking if he could meet him at home and help him get in. He wasn’t able to. So he continued to verbally abuse me until I agreed to get back into bed. This morning he left and met his son who is unable/unwilling to assist. His son informs me that he doesn’t think he can manage at home alone so I have agreed to let him come back here. I have two young children who were not here last night but are now. I’m terrified for them to witness this. I know he has a lot on his plate and I do love him but is this abusive?? Any advice would be most appreciated.
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