my dating story

I don’t even know if I am posting in the correct topic but I am desperate for someone to respond and advise. in 1987 my life changed at 16 years old when my high school boyfriend had an accident resulting in him being a C5-6 quad. Being 16 I didn’t quite understand and yes it was ‘puppy love”. I blamed myself for his car accident even though I wasn’t there and tried to see him in the hospital where he refused. He was 17 and destroyed. I moved on with my teenage life. Graduated, and moved to a different state with my family with fond memories of my first love.

in 1990 I received a phone call from “him” telling me he was in college now, wanted me to visit etc. I am shortening this story because it spans over 25 years! I visited him at 19 years old and dated him for nearly a year NEVER giving a second thought about his injury. At that time he couldn’t have sex or use the bathroom by himself, I did it all for him. Eventually we drifted apart (my side was he became so angry and I couldn’t deal) his side was he was just an angry 20 year old and we were just kids.

I moved on with my life, got married and had 2 children. I often thought about him after all he was my first love. a few times within 19 years I searched online for him wondering if he got married, looked him up on social media and such but never found anything except white pages information of where he had lived. I never spoke to him or had his phone number until….

a month ago I received an email from a school reunion web site I belonged to saying someone had checked my profile. I normally delete these emails but something made me read it. It said he had “checked” my profile..he didn’t message or anything it just left me a notification he looked. I was excited!!! I quickly wrote a “public” note simply saying “hiya where the heck have you been?” trying to be funny I guess. We exchanged pleasantries he asked how I was I told him married 2 kids and I asked and he told me the same thing married 2 kids. We live in different states not far apart.

Then it happened..the I miss you’s the remember whens the you were the only one I loved…it turned into a month long affair.

We agreed to meet 2 weeks from our first talk date, he was very specific in telling me what a mess he was back in college and that he took care of himself 100% now. The wife was evil, made him do everything, only wanted money…the whole story added up and I was HOOKED. We met, had sex (when I was with him previously he couldn’t) and he told me we were meant to be and all that jazz.

His wife found out, my husband never did I hid it well but I was prepared to leave him. He moved out into a hotel, looked at places for us to live, said it would be okay that it was meant to be after all these years I was the only one who was there for him. He admitted suicide attempts. He admitted trying desperately to find me. He confided things to me that would melt someones heart.

Now for the advice. it ended. I have spoken to the wife,she confirmed all his lies. He couldn’t even boil water at home, she did everything. his kids waited on him (whenever I was with him he was self sufficient) He called me said it was over I begged and pleaded I swore vengeance.

His wife begged me to send her all my correspondence. she had a trail of years of spending at clubs and internet porn. He had a prescription for Cialis. the whole thing was a lie. she told me he is a pathological liar and a sociopath. she had never caught him before but we exchanged emails, she wanted information so she could get a divorce and I gave it to her never to hear from her again or him. I am Broken!
Is there a physiological dysfunction with in? is this normal for quads to be addicted to porn or is it just men in general? did something in his accident mess him up besides physical?