My mind is getting the better of me

Before i start i just want to say that this will be my last post on thease subjects. I dont know what is wrong with me but i cant look at a girls face anymore i used to be fine but when they look at me i just go all tense and nervous. I understand that they probly havent seen someone like me before some girls i have met in my life seem 1nstantly drawn to me whitch i find quite disturbing.I dont know maybe its my condition getting the best of me i dont even bother interacting or looking at them anymore i just dont see the point anymore because i know they will just get bored and move on. Its not a nice feeling but each time i have to forget and move on myself whitch is hard because deep down i know that what i have has taken the opporttunity away from me. I dont how much longer i can cope with this fucking shit all i want is to show a girl who i really am that deep down i am a very careing person hell im probly one of the emotional mother fuckers they will ever meet i would help them as much as i posibly could. I would try and be the best fucking boyfreind that i could be. I dont ingnore girls to be rude i do it because i dont understand why they would ever like me. if i was able bodied i wouldent go for girls in wheelchairs. Im so sick of being alone this shit has chaged me in some ways damenged me pycologicly i will probly never be the same i once this is just me speaking from my heart maybe thease feeling will pass but i dont think so they will stay with me for the rest of my life. I am only human and every one has to battle with there demons what im saying is to just leave people like me the fuck alone i know there just trying to be nice in that special female but your not helping me you are just showing me what i will never have. Go find some able bodied guy have kids get married have a kid whatever i speaking for other people in wheelchairs not just me girls aswell. You cant help me. It really anoys me when they flirt you will never understand the life i liveall girls see me as is a pair of wheels and an easy head fuck.