Fall And Rise Of A Star – Tasha Amadi
My name is Tasha Amadi; I’m seventeen going on eighteen and a quadriplegic. I loved to swim and wasn’t too bad at it either. I swam everyday for the 44 days of my first year of high school prior to my spinal cord injury. I was quite the dancer too, and well-known for these two things through primary school. I didn’t know anything about quadriplegia and never thought about it. That was about to change drastically.
Before our transition to high school, I remember sitting with my friends talking about how amazing high school would be, and how we’d always be bff’s (best friends forever) no matter what. Little did I know that wouldn’t eventuate for me. A bunch of my pals and I went to the same high school but seldom saw each other. I was bullied quite a bit and making friends seemed impossible; this was a big throw-off to me because I used to be considered a “popular girl” before high school. Life at the school became unbearable so I convinced my dad to transfer me.
This new school was great. I had a group of friends within days, we were together everywhere. There were no bullies, no drama, everything was fantastic. It was at this school where my life changed forever, I was only thirteen. On the 6th of March 2006, at around 3.00pm, my mates, the rest of the swim team and I were at practice for a swimming gala to take place the next day. Two of my mates and I decided to brush up on our diving. We were diving in a relatively shallow pool (don’t quite recall the measurements). It wasn’t the first time we’d done this. One of my pals dove in and came out, another did the same then I went in and didn’t come out.
The moment I hit the water I couldn’t feel my body. I floated around in the water face down, unable to get up. I saw blood in the water (I must have bitten my tongue) and heard my friend telling me to stop messing around and that I wasn’t being funny.
In a little over a minute some of the girls in the swim team carried me out of the pool. All the while our coach was at her desk by the pool. I was laid on my back on the concrete and surrounded by the girls, then coach finally came. I explained what had happened and that I had no sensation anywhere but my face and neck, which was hurting. They decided to make me lie on my stomach, yeah I know huge mistake. My neck started to hurt more so they turned me on my back again.
My mother was called and told I’d hurt my leg. It didn’t seem like such a big deal so she sent for a cab to take me to hospital then she’d meet me there, since it was rush hour (heavy traffic) and she was working on the other side of town. I was rolled onto a blanket and carried to the parking lot and waited for the cab. When it came, I was put in the back seat, lying on my side. I lay there, alone with the driver, for hours in traffic on the way to hospital.
On arrival at the hospital, I was taken to the ER, what happened in there is all a blur. I remember, later on, being in a dark room. My head was shaved in preparation for the bolts and screws to be put on either side of my head. I had on a neck brace that was too large for me, since they didn’t have any in my size, which was extremely uncomfortable. I kept turning my head trying to relieve the pain on the back of my head despite being advised otherwise. Eventually my head was forcefully held down.
The doctors and nurses left after a while and nobody was permitted to come see me. The door was shut and I was alone in the dark. I couldn’t reach my nose when it needed a scratch, get a drink when I was thirsty or press the bell to get some help. I called out as loudly as I could but no one heard. I was scared, confused about what had happened to me, trapped in a dark room and trapped in my body. It was a tough night. Eventually I was taken to the children’s ward, where I stayed for six days with weights pulling my head, then went for surgery. The doctor’s report said, in the most beautiful language, that they did something wrong.
After surgery, I woke to nurses waiting to put tubes down my throat to suction fluids from my chest since I was too weak to cough. They said I’d drown in my own “juices” if the extremely uncomfortable procedure wasn’t done. It became unbearable so I bit the tubes as hard as I could until the nurses got fed up and aborted the mission. The next day I was back in the children’s ward. People visited often, mostly family members and family friends, and I saw how sad and scared for me they were. I was scared too but didn’t show it. There was too much worry for one room as it was. I masked my sadness with humor and fake smiles.
The first time I sat in a wheelchair I felt like I’d been spun in a blender for hours (very dizzy) and had blackouts but never passed out, I would’ve preferred the latter. The amount of time I could sit for increased gradually. I hardly slept at night and wasn’t sure what had happened to me as nobody explained clearly. I kept thinking I’d be good as new in no time. Time passed, not much changed, I became frustrated and bitter.
When I went back home all my time was spent in my room. I sat in a wheelchair for a few minutes every day after what I now know as lousy physiotherapy. I was never one to voice my feelings so kept all inside. I managed to change my mind set to a more positive one by watching motivational films. Sadness came and went and my share of falling asleep crying wasn’t eluded. I felt that the accident was all my fault, that if I stayed at the school where I was it wouldn’t have happened. I felt stupid and that I deserved to have a miserable life. Old friends didn’t make it easier. One of them sent me a text message that read “Are you a cripple now??” That was just days after I got home from the hospital. Another actually told me (at about the same time) I shouldn’t have left the school and that all my talent had gone to waste. I do have two loyal friends who came to see me whenever they could and don’t see me any differently as they did before. They are two truly exceptional young ladies.
In September 2008, two years after my injury, I decided to go back to school. I knew it would be difficult but had no idea how difficult. I couldn’t get into the classrooms ’cause there were high steps and no ramps. Finding people to lift me and my heavy wheelchair into the rooms was too time consuming to be of any value, and frankly embarrassing. I ended up staying in a room downstairs and was told teachers would have one-on-ones with me there. I was happy with the arrangement because the stares and cruel comments from other kids had become too much. Teachers seldom came and I taught myself a lot. I excelled in English Literature and Music and was rewarded by the school for it. This happened for my general performance too.
I found out I was a good singer, with perfect pitch said my music teacher. I performed at school a number of times and loved it. Sure it took a while for people to warm up to me but it happened and I have the most amazing friends now. My final exams took a toll on me because I can’t write as fast as everyone else and the extra time allowed wasn’t too much. The tables were not accessible so I had to really bend over to reach them. Though I didn’t finish all my papers, I did my best with each one and I’m happy about that.
I’ve got to say that the hardest thing I’ve had to face is watching how life around me went/goes on and that there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s often said that high school years are the most formative and unforgettable. I never really had a memorable high school experience and I can’t change that. Never went on field trips or anything like that. What’s weird is, I don’t feel bad about it.
I now know that I’m a strong person who can handle anything thrown at me, and have fun doing it. Challenges keep coming and I keep overcoming them every day. Some say I inspire them, I don’t know if it’s really true but I like to think it is. Now I have a sense of purpose, I can do something for others, it’s not just others doing things for me anymore.
Rising Star
Tasha Amadi
Many kids would have given up and dropped out of school. What an inspiring young woman you are Tasha. You don’t tell much about your level of injury, ie C6 etc.. is it to personal?
Thanks so much Bozz. My level of injury is not too personal, I guess I just left it out. I’m a C4. Are you in a wheelchair too?
cool, yea i’m in an electric wheelchair, C4 quadriplegic.
Hey Tasha, I’m writing a fictional story about a 13 year old boy who loses the use of his legs, and reading your article has been really helpful for me. It is very hard, as an able-bodied person to be able to imagine how difficult treatments and subsequent changes in lifestyle affect a person, but reading your story has given me some idea how to proceed… so thank you very much! If there’s any chance you’d like to help me with my story, I would be really grateful, but apologies in advance if this is not an appropriate request…. I look forward to hearing from you x
Hi Jane, I’m so glad my story helped. I was thirteen too when I got injured; perfect coincidence. I have so much more to share about my experience and would love to help you with your story, just let me know how. :)
Hi Tasha, how great to hear from you. If I tell you a little bt about me, and the broad outline of my story then we can go from there….perhaps ideally we could swap email addresses so we don’t have to do everything via the forum, but that can be further down the line, and if you don’t want to that’s also fine……perhaps if everything is on here, other people might be able to help me as well. I am 32 and I have just had a baby. I live in Germany, and am not working at the moment.
I have always wanted to write a book, and the other week I saw a programme on British TV which was all about sex education for kids in the UK. One of the sections of the programme was about people in wheelchairs having relationships. One of the people in the programme had lost the use of his legs when he slipped and fell onto a knitting needle. It wasn’t really explained how exactly it happened but the whole ‘horror’ of a small accident turning into a major lifechanging incident sparked my interest. I basically want to follow my character from just before the accident happens, through his life to the ‘climax’ of the book where he meets a girl and tries to have a baby.
Obviously things are a little different for you – mainly because you are a girl! – so some of the issues faced by my chatacter will not be the same. However, you have to assume that I know NOTHING about what your rehab involved, how your friends reacted, how your family reacted, how your house was adapted, what financial help your family got – if any (and again, I know this will be different as I am writing from a UK perspective), how YOU felt about the accident, whether you became depressed, how your physio was carried out and where, where you live now, whether you have had any boyfriends, what use of your arms you have, whether you can do things like dress and wash yourself or if you get help, and even things as simple as how you get in and out of a taxi or the shower or go to the bathroom are all unclear to me – is this all easy, or is every day still a struggle?? – all of these things are a mystery to me.
Just reading your story above was inspiring, I was interested to see that you went back to school – did it take you longer to complete your exams? Did you study part time? What is your plan now?! So many questions… Anyway, back to the book. Because I have a seven month old, I have only set myself the target of writing 500 words a day. This is not necessarily consecutive, and won’t necessarily all be used, but I need to keep it manageable! Bite sized chunks, or it all gets too overwhelming. I guess what I’d like is your permission to weave some of your story into mine… I fifure if I do 500 words a day, in a year, I might have something like a book. If you’d still like to help perhaps we could start talking about some of the questions I have listed above xxx
Hi Jane, congratulations on your new baby! I noticed we’re from two very different worlds. I live in Kenya (East Africa) and was born and raised here. The rehab I’ve had here is quite different from what I see (on TV) happening in developed countries. At first, all I had was a physiotherapist come to my home and give me a massage with olive oil. He kept my hopes up with tall tales of how my fingers would be as good as new in a matter of months. I still don’t have the use of my fingers. Though your character is a boy and I’m a girl, I know most, if not all 13-year-olds long for independence.
Entry to teenage is a transitional phase in life that is awaited and very much anticipated. At this age, kids want more freedom from parents and more freedom in decision making. Being social and fitting in becomes very important. Due to my injury, all this became impossible. In Kenya, paraplegics and quads don’t go to school together. Almost all the regular schools here don’t have provisions for us. There are schools for the disabled but I never saw myself attending one. I never left the house, except for doctor’s appointments, because I couldn’t deal with all the stares. Through friends, family and prayer, I found the courage to go back to regular school. I was depressed in the first few weeks due to cruel and ignorant comments, questions and deeds of the other students but life in school gradually got better. I’m the first “handicapable” to ever attend the school.
My parents did a good job of not involving me in the financial aspect of my situation so I don’t know whether they had aid or not. I have had boyfriends after my injury but the most serious relationship happened in 2009. I was invited to a party by a friend, where I met the guy. Initially, he paid no attention to me and I barely noticed him but later on we got to talking and he called me a couple of days later. From then we started texting each other practically daily and that’s when he showed interest in me. This really took me by surprise. We started dating after a month since we met and life seemed so perfect. Eventually, he broke up with me because we weren’t having sex. When I explained that there are some parts of my body I still couldn’t feel. That’s all I’ll put up here because there are very sensitive issues I have a problem putting up for the world to see. Swapping email addresses or even using skype would be a great idea for sharing much more.
Tasha and Jane, as you both agree, I will forward your email addresses to each other so you don’t have to post them here for all to see. Keep us informed though guys, I’m sure many (like me) are interested to hear of any updates. If others would like to help Jane with her project leave a post here.
Hey girls, my names is Mark. Im a c6 tetraplegic.Im 28 years old and am married to a beautiful 27 year old. We’ve known each other all our life, went to elementary, junior high, and high school together. We live in a very small town in Texas. We have a beautiful 6 year old daughter, who was born on the forth of july. I had my accident about three years ago. I too jump into a pool and hit the bottom and had most of what you described happen to me also.You are very stong for going back to school and dont worry about what people think or say about you.Hope to hear from you!
Hey Mark
How apt that you should write on here today and prompt me into action. Since I started working with Tasha (so long ago now!) I have had another baby girl and moved house. My husband has also been away working for a few months so it has been a busy time. However, I’m hoping to get back to the book, so it would be great to have a male perspective on some of my writing if you are up for helping me….can you tell me what being a c6 tetraplegic means for you, ie some of the things you can and can’t do, for example?
Cheers in advance
Jane x
Hey Mark,
Thanks so much for your kind words. I’m in college now and am having a great time despite all the negativity I got just before going. There are still many challenges in my life, taking it one day at a time helps me deal with those challenges and keeps me happy
Hey Tash my name Mike I’m a T12….and its been two years since my injury…and was reading ur story and u r a strong person….hope to hear from u….
Hi Tash I also dove into a swimming pool and broke my neck at C5/6 at the age of 13 and that was 34 years on the 19th of Febuary. I work full time, I am a mouth painter for the MFPA and I own a small company that builds a 6×6 electric wheelchair to go places that our regular wheelchair will not go. You can see my artwork and the chair it at http://www.6x6explorer.com I am sure you will do well for yourself, you have a great sounding attitude. Iwould love to hear from you. Regards Kev
Hi Mike,
i hope you are adjusting well to your new lifestyle, I know too well how hard it can be. May I ask how old you are?
Hi Kevin,
Cool website! Where are you based? I try as much as possible to stay in a positive attitude, and for the most part it’s easy, thanks to my friends and family. I do however encounter challenges, especially when it comes to relationships.
dame tu correo
Tasha, you are an inspiration to everybody.
How’s life in university? Hope you have great classmates and teachers.
Jane, I would love to read your fanfic. Sounds really interesting.
Thank you so much Brinic.
University is great. I’m loving it alot.
I’m glad that you’re doing fine. What are you studying?