Wheelchair Sex After Spinal Cord Injury
Wheelchair sex and the ability to develop sexuality, participate in sexual activity, and maintain long term intimate relations is desired as much by people with a disability as in the general population. The majority of spinal cord injury wheelchair users are 15 to 45 years of age so sex and fertility often become an important issue. The amount of physical sexual function and ability to feel pleasure or pain sensation after a spinal cord injury depends on level and completeness. In general, an incomplete spinal cord injury affects sexual function to a varying degree if at all, as opposed to complete where no function exists.
For men with incomplete spinal cord injuries involuntary motor and or sensory function still exists below the level of injury. The ability to achieve a sustainable erection for wheelchair sex and reach orgasm is usually possible. After a complete injury the ability to achieve erections, ejaculate, and father children can be greatly compromised. For women complete or incomplete, following an initial absence of menstrual cycle, fertility is rarely impaired, though vaginal lubrication may be. In both sexes limited to no sensation below the level of injury is common. By having wheelchair sex many couples are re-discovering sex after spinal cord injury. Wheelchair sex enriches their lives and results in a more understanding closer relationship.
Safe Sex and What to do With Catheters
Never assume a spinal cord injury causes infertility or makes one incapable of catching and spreading Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD). Practice safe sex as you would normally. Men with a permanent Indwelling Catheter (IDC) can remove or fold back and cover with a condom or otherwise secure to penis shaft. Women with an IDC can also leave a catheter in during sex unless it causes problems. Stoma and those who self-cath (pass a catheter several times a day to drain bladder) usually do so just prior to sex to avoid any unwanted urine leakage. Supra Pubic Catheter users are free to engage in wheelchair sex, intimacy and sexual intercourse anytime.
Usually high level quadriplegics cannot go without a catheter for long. Care should be taken not to pull on a catheter during sex but don’t let it spoil enjoyment. If either wheelchair sex partner (or soloist) has major concern about a catheter for medical or aesthetic reasons tape it and any tubing to the body prior to love making. Be aware tubing pressed hard against skin can cause blisters. A sleeve of soft material slipped over the catheter and or tubing may avoid blistering.
Orgasm Erectile and Vaginal Function
Men with incomplete spinal cord injuries may achieve reflex, but not psychogenic erections. That is; an erection may be achieved by physical stimulus, touch, not erotic vision or thought. While a more than adequate blessing for most, such erections are not always sustainable or strong enough for penetrative sex. Not only can unpredictable erections cause embarrassing situations during sexual intimacy but for wheelchair users in public (being void of sensation below the level of injury) unaware they have an erection. It has been reported that 45 percent of men have experienced orgasm after spinal cord injury.
Complete injuries involving S2 to S4 affect the nerves responsible for two main chambers (corpora cavernosa) of the penis which fill with blood to create an erection, damage at and above this level makes reflex (physically stimulated) erections totally unachievable for most. If a sphincterectomy has been performed reflex and psychogenic erections are rarely possible. Difficulties with erections may eventually be experienced by nearly half of men with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) caused by lesions of the thoracic spine and autonomic nerves.
The most sensitive area of the penis is the fraenum (underside of penis head). A vibrator applied to the fraenum can not only induce erection but orgasm, ejaculation. For a woman laying face up the erogenous zone is two to three inches inside the vagina and upward, called the G-spot. During wheelchair sex a womans G-spot might be more easily reached by sliding her hips up to the front edge of the wheelchair seat.
Women with incomplete spinal injuries are generally able to produce vaginal lubrication and enjoy wheelchair sex. For women with complete injuries between T10 and T12 there is typically an absence of either psychogenic or reflex lubrication. Attempted penetration of the vagina by any means may trigger adductor and pelvic floor muscle spasm. Be patient and never force entry. It has been reported that 53 percent of women have experienced orgasm after spinal cord injury.
Medications and Sex Aids After Spinal Cord Injury
The introduction of oral medications Viagra and Ciallis have largely replaced their intracavernosal predecessors. Swallowing a pill has much less shock value than injecting and massaging meds into the penis. While both methods can help sustain an erection, the ability to achieve some form of erection in the first place, is most desirable.
I am one of the lucky quadriplegic wheelchair users who can get an erection simply by touch. I have tried Viagra several times. In the interests of research for this wheelchair sex article of course. I did not notice Viagra of any benefit to my usual sexual function. Viagra is really only of benefit to those who can achieve psychogenic erections (erections from erotic thoughts).
Devices such as vacuum erection pumps can initiate erection and tight rings or bands applied to the base of penis will restrict blood drain from the penis once erection is achieved. Penile pump implants are also available but carry risk of erosion, leakage, or infection requiring removal. Some men with intact sacral anterior nerve roots are able to achieve stimulator-driven erections, though the primary reason for doing so is urination, not sex.
Disability sex aids like sex wedges, sex swings, vibrators, the height of a bed or table, power tilt on a wheelchair and easily removable arm rests are worth consideration when purchasing equipment with wheelchair sex in mind. Partners of wheelchair users will attest the wheelchair itself becomes a sexual aid at times.
For the more sexually adventurous, electric powered mechanical sex seats and fetish equipment like neck braces, casts, catheters, crutches, straitjackets, bondage, electrostimulators, mouth spreaders, and speculum devices exist.
Sex lubricants such as K-Y Jelly can assist in achieving sexual penetration and increase enjoyment of wheelchair sex. Application of these gels or “body sauces” and massage oils to other areas where greater sensation exists may also prove pleasurable during wheelchair sex.
Wheelchair Sex Positions
How do people in wheelchairs have sex? Just like any other person, usually in bed. Some sexual positions are more difficult in bed after spinal cord injury as paralysis makes it hard to roll over or climb on top, compounded by loss of leg function for support, and hips for thrust. Therefore some sexual positions are more easily achieved by practising wheelchair sex. Most modern wheelchairs have easy to remove armrests, swing away footplates, folding backrests and locking brakes and such easily accommodate wheelchair sex and greater sexual freedom. Those in wheelchairs due to spinal cord injury often describe their wheelchair as their legs and therefore it becomes a part of their sexuality.
Paraplegics rely on upper body strength to perform adventurous wheelchair sex positions. Quadriplegics or Tetraplegics rely on assistance from their partner to do the same. For wheelchair sex sliding the paralyzed male or females bottom to the front edge of the wheelchair seat gives greater access for sex. When both sex partners have high level spinal cord injuries a sex worker may be employed to assist in wheelchair sex and intercourse. Be aware when limited sensation below the level of spinal cord injury exists, sensitivity above the level of injury often increases, and can become hypersensitive. Go easy on those nipples.
Some find paralysis and wheelchair users very sexually attractive and actively seek them as partners. Most are caring empathetic people genuinely interested in people with disabilities. Occasionally however such relationships are sought assuming that a position of dominance and control will be given and can result in conflict or violence. Wheelchair sex fetish should not be thought of as perverse. Like any sexual practice it only becomes unhealthy or inappropriate and often illegal when forced into or thrust upon minors and unsuspecting, unwilling parties. For example; public masturbation, flashing and up-skirting.
Throw Clinical Approach Out The Bedroom Window
As a C4 incomplete quadriplegic male able to achieve reflex but not psychogenic erections the sight of my beautiful girlfriend still makes me want to pin her to the wall and tear her lingerie off with my teeth. A clinical diagnosis deeming psychogenic, sexual thought and erotic vision of no benefit to establishing erection, bares no relevance in the bedroom. Scented candles, rose petals, lingerie, nudity, enticement, foreplay, wheelchairs and other apparatus can hold new use and appreciation for both sexes. Blessed with a patient willing partner I even turn my head sideways looking at my hoist lately.
“Sexy is not about sensation. It took time to recognize that what I was feeling during sex was less about physical sensation and more of a mental build-up. It’s mind over matter, but there’s definitely a release. It was completely frustrating at first, but I think part of the healing process was learning the ways my body works differently after my accident.” – Angela Rockford
Experiment with your partner to discover the new frontier spinal cord injury and wheelchair sex brings. Talk with them to learn about their body, likes and dislikes. People with a physical disability often have a poor self body image, thinking they are damaged goods, broken, somehow less than. This perception or stigma is difficult to change in both the disabled and general public’s mind. Often an able-bodied sex partner will feel guilt for having full sensation. These feelings are normal and should be discussed, but don’t dwell on them. Healthy love making is about pleasing your partner. The person with limited sensation from spinal cord injury often derives great joy and sexual satisfaction from simply pleasuring their partner.
A girlfriend of mine was asked what she sees in me because I’m, “not a whole man.” Resisting the urge to punch them out of their seat she replied, “He’s more man than any I know, I see the man not the wheelchair.”
Spinal Cord Injury Emissions and Ejaculations
For seminal emission to occur the spinal cord nerves from T11 to L2 to the vasa deferentia, seminal vesicles, and prostate must be intact. Emission being a trickling or leakage of semen with no rhythmic contractions of the pelvic floor muscles as in true ejaculation. Some with complete cord lesions at lumbar or sacral level may be able to achieve psychogenic erections and emission. Retrograde ejaculation, where the semen is ejected into the bladder rather than the urethral meatus is common.
When ejaculation cannot be achieved by sexual intercourse it may be induced by masturbation or vibrator stimulus of the fraenum (underside tip) of the penis. Emissions may also be induced by rectal electroejaculation (a vibrator applied to prostate via the anus). A hypo-gastric plexus stimulator can also be implanted to achieve emission, using a single inductive link across the skin. When neither ejaculation nor emission can be achieved collection of sperm by epididymal aspiration or testicular biopsy (a sample collected from testicles by needle) is possible.
Fertility After Spinal Cord Injury
Fertility in men progressively reduces after spinal cord injury. A low sperm count with diminished motility (swim strength) is often due to continuing non-ejaculation, infection and raised testicular temperatures from sitting in a wheelchair and laying in bed for long periods with little mobility and poor air flow. Earliest collection and storage of sperm after a spinal cord injury might therefore be enacted. Seminal fluid quality may improve after repeated ejaculation. All good reasons to engage in regular wheelchair sex.
It is essential to obtain microbiological cultures of the seminal fluid and eradicate any infection prior to proceeding with an attempt at fertilization. Fertilization success rates after spinal cord injury have improved with the use of seminal fluid enhancement techniques, intrauterine insemination, In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) and Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI).
For women after an initial absence of menstrual cycles fertility is rarely compromised. If the spinal cord lesion is complete above T10 labor may be painless. When unable to bear down effectively during the second stage of labor forceps are often used to assist in delivery. Autonomic Dysreflexia during labor is a risk for mothers with a spinal cord injury at T6 and above, this can be prevented with an epidural anesthesia.
Sexual Access and Opportunity for Disabled
“(Sex)abled Disability Uncensored” celebrates people with disabilities as sexual beings. This 14-minute film made by San Francisco State University students features the bright and lively participants of the discussion panel sponsored by UC Berkeley’s Disabled Students Union called “Are Cripples Screwed?” Enjoy engaging with Bay area community members and comedian Josh Blue (winner of Last Comic Standing) as they share their personal experiences with wheelchair sex, dating and intimacy. Please consider making a contribution to the production of this video at Sex Smart Films.
For significantly disabled wheelchair users such as high level spinal cord injury tetraplegics (quadriplegics) on ventilators living in structured environments, nursing homes, group homes and institutions, wheelchair sex and opportunities for sexual and gender expression may be limited. Institutional barriers to wheelchair sex and sexual relationships include cramped conditions, a lack of privacy, unwelcome intrusion by support staff, prohibited relationships with staff, prohibited sexual contact between residents and prohibited sexual relations between residents and visitors.
Disabled people’s sexual and emotional needs are rarely included in any discussion or representation in popular culture such as movies, music, and magazines. When disabled people are represented in more sexually positive ways by media, often social cultural and institutional supports follow suit, advocating for disabled people’s greater sexual access and sexual well-being. For wheelchair users with spinal cord injury this positive sexual representation not only promotes wheelchair sex. It strengthens sexual self-identification and heightens sexual self-esteem. It creates an avenue for non-disabled people to see the disabled in a more sexually attractive light.
Disability in the Commercial Sex Industry
Paraplegics and quadriplegics are employed as sex workers in several fields. Increasing numbers of women with paralysis from spinal cord injury and other physical disabilities are being employed in the phone sex industry. Some customers specifically request sexual surrogates (qualified sex therapy educators who engage in sex). Others request wheelchair bound prostitutes. Some earn a living as wheelchair sex porn stars. Disability sex educators, with an actual disability, are highly sought after. Wheelchair bound glamour models are increasingly seen in the fashion industry. There is even a niche for medical equipment test pilots.
A 13 billion dollar industry in the United States, commercial outlets and websites selling “disability fetish” calendars, pictures and videos of disabled women and men having sex, wheelchair sex, naked “gimp” amputees, girls in casts and various other mediums of wheelchair bound people having sex are increasingly common in western culture. Most are produced solely for pornographic use which is fine for adult porn entertainment but is all to often exploitative of the disability sector. Porn movies featuring non-disabled wheelchair pretenders do little to promote real wheelchair sex or sex with a disability. The wheelchair becomes nothing more than a prop.
The relationship between disability and the commercial sex industry has developed healthier approaches through increased education and recognition of sexuality of people with disabilities as an important issue. With or without disability however gender imbalance will always exist, where women are seen as goods and men as the consumer or buyer of such goods.
Disability in the International Sex Industry
The global sex industry is worth an estimated 850 billion US dollars per year spawning many illegal underground sub-cultures. Human trafficking is the fastest growing criminal industry in the world, targeting vulnerable sections of populations including disabled people. Globally, 27 million people are held in slavery for the two main purposes of labor and sex. Often considered unable to work, those with a disability are nearly always exploited for sex.
Disabled women often enter into traditional prostitution as the lowest and cheapest commodity due to their extremely marginalized status. This places them at great risk of sexual abuse, rape and sexually transmitted disease HIV/AIDS. Each country has their own inherent problems concerning sexual issues, such as traditional customs and culture, access and support, education and advocacy, economy and research. The problems facing the international sex industry are many and positive outcomes few.
Five Quick Wheelchair Sex Facts
- A Braille copy of Playboy featuring the beautiful paraplegic Ellen Stohl was provided by the National Library Service for the Blind and Handicapped in the USA until Congress banned its production.
- The average age of entry into pornography and prostitution in the USA is 13. Of these more than 10% have a disability.
- In Australia, the Accsex Network provides disabled people with a “sex-attendant” and can arrange access to other wheelchair sex services.
- The Pink Palace, a brothel in Melbourne, gained global media attention by making their premises wheelchair accessible and installing a sit-down shower.
- In Zimbabwe some still believe that HIV/AIDS can be cured by having sex with a disabled person.
Barriers to Sexual Expression After Spinal Cord Injury
Social attitudes and physical barriers associated with decreased mobility as well as a dependency on others for care after a spinal cord injury often hinders sexual expression. A social attitude that deems people with physical disabilities as dependent and helpless only fosters assumptions. It serves to prevent able-bodied people from accepting a person with spinal cord injury as a sexual partner.
Perceived as very “needy” a relationship with a person of high level spinal cord injury such as quadriplegia or tetraplegia is imagined to be extremely demanding and never equal. This attitude can also become internalized by the person with spinal cord injury. They start to believe their dependency makes them undesirable wheelchair sex and life partners.
Wheelchair sex barriers after spinal cord injury and the true sexual desires, prowess and functions of people with disabilities, are greatly compromised by mythical stigma and stereotypes. People with intellectual disabilities for example are often believed to be oversexed and dangerous or asexual and eternally childlike. Other wheelchair users, especially those with a spinal cord injury are considered unable to parent, conceive, or adequately raise children. These false stereotypes further exclude people with disabilities from sexual activities. This has been highlighted by an increasingly vocal constituency of people with disabilities expressing frustration at the social barriers preventing full participation in life particularly in the taboo area of sexuality.
Emphasis has been placed on social re-integration of wheelchair users like those with spinal cord injury in recent times. Schemes and programs have been developed to open opportunities for wheelchair sex, independent living, education, employment, health, sport, transport and physical wheelchair access. Many people meet sex partners and life partners at college, their workplace and social events, but for wheelchair users they must first be able to participate and express their sexuality. Only then can they be seen as sexually able and possibly sexually attractive.
Identified Sexual Outcomes After Spinal Cord Injury
Today, there is a greater awareness that sexuality is equally important to men and women with disabilities and that sexuality is an integral part of the development and experience of all people. Much of what we know about the social barriers that people with disabilities face in relation to their sexuality comes from the reports of people with disabilities themselves. Disability activists have also played a strong role, campaigning for the sexual rights of people with disabilities, including the right to have sexual relationships, the right to be parents, and the right to access sexual services.
People with a disability including wheelchair users with spinal cord injury don’t always portray the youth, virility, athleticism and physical beauty that is so sought after in western culture. Often resented by the able-bodied, seen as ugly and repulsive, the disabled body is hidden or presented as something to be avoided, corrected, and pitied.
Historically, there has been a fear that people with disabilities will produce offspring with disabilities, and a belief that this is something that should be avoided. Despite the history of exclusion, physical limitations, isolation and abuse, it is important to note that for other people with disabilities, their sexual rights are being achieved and they are leading satisfying sexual lives.
Both paraplegics and quadriplegics living with spinal cord injury are enjoying relationships of all kinds, having children, marrying other disabled people and people who do not have a disability. People with disabilities are enjoying active wheelchair sex lives, dating, loving, touching, kissing, hugging, sucking, fingering, and fucking. Some are accessing the sex industry, visiting sex workers, working as sex workers, consuming pornography, and in some instances, making pornography.
People paralyzed by spinal cord injury are learning and teaching about sex, as sex educators, counselors, and researchers. They are finding and sharing useful ways to enjoy wheelchair sex, express their sexuality, increase sexual pleasure and bolster sexual self esteem. Prioritizing the sexual rights of people with disabilities, as well as dissolving stereotypes, taboos and silences will ensure that these success stories become the norm for most people with disabilities in years to come.
Graham Streets
MSC Founder
Resources
- Barry, K. 1995. The Prostitution of Sexuality. New York University Press.
- Bradford, S. 2003. Prostitution Reform Bill Good for Disabled People.
- Fegan, L. A. Rauch. W. McCarthy. 1993. Sexuality and People with Intellectual Disability. Sydney, Australia: MacLennan & Petty Pty Limited.
- Gary L. Albrecht. 2006. Encyclopedia of Disability. University of Illinois, Chicago.
- Hughes, D. 1999. Pimps and Predators on the Internet: Globalizing Sexual Exploitation of Women and Children. Oslo, Norway: The Coalition Against Trafficking in Women.
- McCabe, M. P. and G. Taleporos. 2003. Sexual Esteem, Sexual Satisfaction and Sexual Behavior among People with Physical Disability. Archives of Sexual Behavior.
- Miles, M. 1999. Blindness in South and East Asia: Using History to Inform Development. Disability in Different Cultures: Reflections on Local Concepts. New Brunswick, NJ: Transaction Publishers.
- Mona, L. R. and P. S. Gardos. 2000. Disabled Sexual Partners. Psychological Perspectives on Human Sexuality.
- Murphy, R. 1995. Encounters: The Body Silent in America Disability and Culture. University of California Press.
- Noonan, R. 2000. Sex Surrogates: A Clarification of Their Functions.
- Raymond, J. G. 2003. 10 Reasons for Not Legalizing Prostitution.
- Richard, A. O. 1999. International Trafficking in Women to the United States: A Contemporary Manifestation of Slavery and Organized Crime. Washington, DC: Center for the Study of Intelligence, CIA.
- Shakespeare, T. 2000. Disabled Sexuality: Toward Rights and Recognition. Sexuality and Disability.
- Shakespeare, T., K. Gillespie-Sells, and D. Davis. 1996. The Sexual Politics of Disability: Untold Desires. London: Cassell.
- Shuttleworth, R. 2000. The Search for Sexual Intimacy for Men with Cerebral Palsy. Sexuality and Disability.
- Shuttleworth, R. P. and L. Mona. 2002. Disability and Sexuality: Toward a Focus on Sexual Access. Disability Studies Quarterly.
- Silverburg, C., M. Kaufman, and F. Odette. 2003. The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability. San Francisco: Cleis.
- Sipski, M. and C. Alexander. 1997. Sexual Function in People with Disability and Chronic Illness: A Health Professional’s Guide. Frederick, MD: Aspen.
- Taleporos, George. 2001. Our Bodies and Sexualities beyond 2000: Disability with Attitude: Critical Issues 20 Years After International Year of Disabled Persons. University of Western Sydney, Australia.
- Wade, H. 2002. Discrimination, Sexuality and People with Significant Disabilities: Issues of Access and the Right to Sexual Expression in the United States. Disability Studies Quarterly.
- Sobsey, D. 1994. Violence and Abuse in the Lives of People with Disabilities: The End of Silent Acceptance. Baltimore: Brookes.
Websites
- Disabled Love Aid Sex Chair: http://www.disabledloveaid.co.uk
- Informing Sexuality After Illness and Disability; i-said UK: http://www.i-said.co.uk
- Intimate Rider: http://www.intimaterider.com
- Penile Vibratory Stimulation, PVS: Semen Retreival by Penile Vibratory Stimulation in Men with Spinal Cord Injury
- Sex Smart Films: http://www.sexsmartfilms.com
- Sexonomics: http://sexonomics-uk.blogspot.com/2011/04/sexual-ability.html
- Sexual Health Network: http://www.sexualhealth.com
- Spinal Cord Injury Information Network: Sexual Function for Men with Spinal Cord Injury
My boyfriend had an injury in 2000 from a car accident…..he had a L3 fracture they did surgery and put Harrington rods in his back…..he was at first unable to walk and feel his thighs and the bottom of his feet but could still feel his shins after a few months he could walk and years later he began to regain the feeling of in his thighs….present day he feels all normally except his groin area and his butt he is unable to feel temperature and in order to feel touching it has to be a lot of pressure…..he has to use a catheter….he has had 1 child about a year after his accident and is able to get a hard on and orgasm as long as he stays focused at the time….there has been times where he is unable to perform but im pretty sure that’s all men……i guess my question is after he orgasms sometimes he experiences stomach pain cramp like feeling like he has gas or something…..i searched the internet regarding this and was unable to find anything…does anyone know what could be causing this? Thank u in advance…..
Hi
I am dating a quadriplegic female and she asked me to look this stuff up. I have read this page and still don’t fully understand a lot of it. I was wandering if anyone knew of other information sites. I have found dating her has been difficult for me and trying to learn more about her injury.
Thanks
Amanda, that sounds like referred pain or retrograde ejaculation. He might benefit from a nerve block but these things get very complex. He really needs to consult his doctor. If it were me I’d put up with the cramps.
Tiger6778, thats like going into McDonalds and asking where Burger King is. We don’t allow posting of links here. Use our site search at top of screen, if you have questions ask in the comment sections or on our forum. You are on one of the best life after spinal cord injury information sites around.
My girl friend is paraplegic we enjoy great sex and all but recently she suddenly had great pain in the hips and when she went to the hospital they said its a urinary tract infection and she was given some drugs and has been ok since now she is complaining of neck pain could it be another UTI ? If it is , is there any ways and means of avoiding or a cure pliz advice
Neck pain is not usually congruent with UTI amongst paraplegics. We need more info. How and when was she injured and at what level, is she complete or incomplete? How long has it been between injury and these hip pains? Do they come and go? We need details to give an accurate answer Jay.
She is aged 33 was injured in road traffic accident back in february 2004 and is an incomplete T12 L1 and the hip pains only occured sometime in february this year
Thankyou Jay for the extra info. It is not A-typical for a T12 like your girlfriend to suffer these problems. S1-5 damage has a life long compounding effect. Try some neurofen short term.
Thank you for that Graham I looked that up and it makes sense….is it possible for this to only happen sometimes? because i have noticed before the orgasm with no semen….but have not put 2 and 2 together and noticed if those were the same times that he has these stomach pains…but next time i am going to pay more attention to this and see
Thanx 4 the advice man didnt have net access of late hope it wil work 4 her
My gal friend
Hey you guys,I’m 18 I was involved in a car accident last year..I now have a SCI ,I’m a c5/c6 quad/incomplete, I have limited sensation. for example I can feel physical touch&pain like if someone is touching me,but I can’t feel temperature as if something is hot or cold. I sometimes get erections from spasms,but not mentally.I have sensation on my penis,do you think a girls vagina will feel the same as it did before ? I also wear a condom catheter with a leg bag for my urine.what will be easy ways for me to have sex with a girl who’s not in a chair? I am now a freshmen in college
Hi Rob, no it won’t feel the same — or more accurately — you can’t feel the same way anymore. With a uridome where possible avoid drinking an hour prior to sex. Have a read of our supra pubic catheter page. They are good for sexually active quadriplegics. Just take it slow cowboy, you have plenty of time to rediscover your sexuality. ;)
I agree the the supra pubic catheter is a winner all round. Sex is no issue, nor masturbation. Best thing I did was getting rid of condom/sheath drainage.
Hi guys. I’m 19 and have been in a wheelchair all of my life. I’m a T10 paraplegic complete. Does this mean I can’t have sex?
Chase, have you tried to get an erection through any of the methods described in the article?
No I have not.
Hey im Tyler I am a t4 complete is there anyway I could get a girl pregnant because my gf thinks she is and I dont believe its possible
It certainly is possible Tyler.
It most certainly is, there are usually a number of early departures, before proper ejaculation, in fact even if you don’t properly they still escape, and it only takes one Tyler, to reach the correct destination.
I am a US Marine who has a spinal injury from L3-S1 and I have a TLIF fussion from L4-S1 and because of this I have had problems sustaining and it caused my marriage to go down the drain but I have found some one who now is understanding and told me the first time we did have sexual contact that it was ok and she just payed there naked with me and calmed me down because I was embarrassed and frustrated. I was given this artical by one of my PTSD councellors and it made me happy to finnaly see that I am normal and it’s not my fault. I am not confined to a wheelchair but I do have to walk with the aid of a cain do to me not reporting my injury for years and I ruined most of the nerves in my lower back. So thank you for doing this and the support that is given by every one to help SCI persons and show that what we are dealing with is ok.
Hey Rob. I am a c4/c5 & everything you said sounds like me. I try not to drink much before sex & keep a bedside urinal handy. I can tell when I have to pee, but just can’t hold it so I keep a urinal close by when I’m not wearing a catheter. I seem to feel like I have to pee quicker when i’m on top.
As for the feeling, It’s not the same, but it still feels great. Experiment with different positions to find what works best for you. some positions may help maintain an erection. Read some of my older post. I talked about what worked for me. Some positions that worked great when i was 20 still work, but not as good as others in my 30s so keep experimenting. Also, although I seldom use it, Viagra works for me. When I say seldom, I mean a few times a year.
Also, be as physically fit as you can. It’ll make a world of difference. I found it easier to bring up the leg bag & catheter & how it goes on before my partner & I would get into the bedroom…long before. It takes the shock out of it. Of course, I don’t have that issue any more. I’ve been married for 13yrs & 3 kids with her. good luck.
Hello guys my husband was a US solider that got hurt fighting overseas and now is paralysis. He does not like to talk about his condition often so there are a lot of things I haven’t figure out. He is completely paralysis from the waist down. When we try to have intercourse he has feeling and pleasure moments, he also can get erections….. The confusing part to this is when we are about to take part in sexual activities his penis cannot go into my virginal it is like it isn’t hard enough and that is confusing. We have been married for a few years and he is in his mid twenties. We want to have kids but it seems impossible now can anyone help.
Hi Bree, The only answer I can give you is that you need to seek help from the spinal unit, or consultant your husband has, they can help, I have asked many questions of my partner’s spinal consultant, they don’t judge, or make it embarrassing, they have heard it all before. My partner and I have a good, well actually great sex life, and he is c4-c5 so his paralysis is much higher, he can still get an erection, and it remains hard enough to use, and as for children, a fertility consultant can help you with that one. Ask question’s, seek knowledge, from wherever you can, it all helps. Good luck.
Hi Graham
What are my chances of impregnating a woman as i am a T12/L1 complete paraplegia,no natural erection,the pill do’nt work either,i am only now starting to use the pump and the erection is not that strong,any advice is more than welcome as i would love to have a baby of my own.
Hi Kenzo, if I were you I would be looking for a respectable fertility clinic. They are best equiped to extract and test your semen to answer your question.
Bree, would it surprise you if I said all you need is an elastic band? Placed around the base of his penis it can help make a hard enough erection for penetation. Using a vibrator on yourself and under the head of his penis just prior to intercourse may also help and then there’s drugs like viagra. I know it’s long but read the full article as it will answer your questions and more. It is very likely you will be able to have children together.
Hi
I am a C1/C2 incomplete quad. I can get a reflex and sometimes a psychogenic erection. However, the last week I have not been able to ejaculate at all. I am a single male who masturbates regularly. I am yet to have sex post injury. Usually when looking at porn I can ejaculate in about 30 mins. However, the last week I’ve been hard for 2 hrs with no result. I then go limp around that time. Any suggestions at all?
Howdy Royda45,
Just wondering; since you are an incomplete, can you feel your masturbation? If not, are you doing this so frequently to keep your penis “exercised” as to not lose functionality until you can enjoy sex with your new quad body?
I know for myself, being a t-12 complete female, I cannot physically feel vaginal masturbation. I did recently find that if I am watching a man masturbate and we are communicating our pleasures, and I go through the motions of self masturbation, that my mind takes over and I can go through the gamut of emotions until I climax. This was an amazing discovery.
Good luck to you!
I am so happy this site is here for people like us! I think the biggest reason we are looked at differently, and maybe not approached by people who actually do find us attractive, is simply fear of the unknown. Sites like this help to educate those who might just be afraid of what they don’t understand :)
Thank you for this site and all the wonderful content it holds!
Hi CyndiLou
I can sort of feel when I’m masturbating. It’s a reduced feeling. But intense when I ejaculate. I used to masturbate and have sex often before injury. Helps me sleep LOL.
Just don’t know why I can ejaculate most times but haven’t recently
I just wish I could tell everybody to watch the movie Saved! I mean, yeah, it’s pretty much all white people, but there is a really hot character in a wheelchair, who has a girlfriend, goes to prom and everything.
I am very attracted to a man in a wheelchair. When we met, I wasnt immediately aware of his paralysis, but once I knew, it didnt mean a thing. He’s just really cool. Recently we began a dialogue about sex and what he needs and can/cant do. I began looking for information online so I could impress him with my vocabulary and technical knowledge, but its hard! lol. basically… I just want him to know that I’m interested and sexually attracted. I appreciate this site. I want MORE! There is so much to learn and explore. I hope one day he is comfortable and adventurous to try these things with me :) The future is promising.
hi , i like to make a serious relationship with a paraplegic / quadraplegic man
@ mimi. My advice is just to ask him and communicate, communicate communicate just as you would w any other person you were interested in. There isnt a standard one thing fits all for anyone in the world lol and Im certain he will be willing to discuss what he likes just as well as you will discuss yours. Yes it can be confusing, so just ask. If hes interested he will totally understand
I am a t3 – t6 incomplete. I had a motorcycle accedent last year (April 2011) I also had a sever concushion as well as a TBI (which the docs say i have recovered from very well) I am able to walk a short distance with the aid of walker. I can get an erection through physical stimulation and can feel temperature and some of the physical stimulation. I tried Viagra for the first time the other day and was very frustrated when it did not work at all. I am also unable to ejaculate. Although I have only masterbated for 5 or 10 mins. (I have yet to have sex post injury) I guess I’m looking for some support, answers, etc. I am not one to get depressed about the paralysis of my legs, body, etc.. (It can’t be changed so why dwell on it right?!!) But that fact of my man parts not working really has me down…. I haven’t been this long without sex sense I was 14 and I’m 26 now. Any encouraging thoughts/remarks will help thanks!
I am so much enjoying sex I’m a female leisure T2&T3complete para but I ussually experience hard spasms after intercourse
Im a new T10 paraplegic. I was injured 7 months ago in a motocross wreck and had spinal fusion along with 2 heart surgeries. I have no feeling past my hip bones.
Lately my boyfriend/fiancée of 2yrs and I have been experimenting. We had a sexualy active life before and so far he’s stuck by my side. Things have been rather difficult for him with how things have changed. I’ve read numerous articles about paraplegic women having sexual relationships and even achieving orgasm.
No matter what we try nothing works. I feel bad leaving my fiancée sexualy deprived but if we do try anything, I get absolutely no pleasure. I almost feel like I’m having to give up my body to please someone with no benefit. Then faking anything just makes me more uncertain.
Missionary gets pretty boring pretty fast. We used to have a rather kinky and aggressive sex life post injury. Now things are rather dull and it’s become quiet frustrating and depressing for me to not have that release anymore.
Any advice???
Christy,
Missionary positions is likely the worst one for us paraplegic women, to get any pleasure from.
Here is a site with many, many options. I found 4 or 5 that work much better. http://www.sexinfo101.com/sexualpositions.shtml
I also find that the man must be willing to take the time to “work up his woman” with foreplay before intercourse. Of course, this is true for every woman, disabled or not.
When you’ve been worked up, guide his hand down and coax him into inserting 2 fingers into your vagina (usually we don’t produce the vaginal moisture needed for intercourse without preparation). I find that I like to keep my hand down there on his, just to know what he’s doing, feeling the motion, and it helps to work you up. He could be working on your breasts or kissing you during this as well. Then when you’re ready, try lying on your side with him behind you. In this position, his penis will be more toward your stomach than toward your back, which should produce more feeling. If he can multitask, he can also handle your breast, kiss the back of your neck, to help keep the “feeling” parts of your body stimulated. Personally, I sometimes keep my hand down south, to feel his penis moving in and out, and to make sure he doesn’t slip out without me realizing it right away. Even though you cannot feel intercourse, your body can and your mind knows exactly what’s going on. Use that to your advantage. You will not climax every time, or even very often, but you can definitely still get much pleasure through intimacy with your man. Just takes a little more prep. :) Good luck!!
Im married to a paraplegic and i got pregnant naturally.so please dont loose hope
My husband was just recently injured in a car accident, he had an l1 burst fracture, he is home, had no inpatient rehab we are doing only outpatient. We dont have a clue where to start what to try, he has questions i have no answers. The injury accured may 10 of this year. Any Advice?
Hi Millicent!what level is your husband,i am a t12/l1 complete paraplegia and i would love to have a baby,and can you also advice or ask him to advice me
Niki, it would help if you were more specific. Is he a full-tme wheelchair user, complete or incomplete? If you are wanting to resume a sex life after spinal cord injury read the article in full and make the most of being an outpatient. Ask the hard questions.
he is a complete spinal cord injury t12 L1. What are the hard questions, I am a nurse so i have been able to help with bowel program some and interment catherezation, but no one really says what expectation to look for what therap are going to be done, and all the therapist he sees are familar with the fresh spinal injury or recovery. There is no counsler to speak with so it is just research ive been doing to help me.
Niki, I tried not to assume because you posted on our “sex” page you are having marital sex problems. I would not approve a T12-L1’s release from hospital after 8 weeks unless they could walk out comfortably. I strongly advise you get him back in hospital and do not let him return home until carers are in place, as you being his primary carer will inevitably drive a wedge between the two of you. If he is up and walking around he will continue to improve as the swelling reduces.
new to this site and looking for info on gwm to chat and possible LTR, I have a spinal injury 4 years now. Tired of people looking at me like a freak. I am still able to walk some and live on my own. The loneliness is overwhelming. If anyone out there can show me where I need to go then please contact me. I love finer things in life, camping, and a MAN to be MAN.
Hi guys. Last night I had one of the most amazing sexual experiences of my life with a guy who can’t feel his legs. I’m not sure what type of injury he has as it was just a casual encounter and I guess we haven’t gotten to know eachother in that way yet… But we have plans to do it again! I’m used to being submissive and although he definitely did take control, I still had to be woman on top and I’m not used to that at all. I’m pretty tall and curvy, and I guess my thigh muscles started spasming after half an hour on top. Are there any other positions you could recommend? He can still thrust a bit and he has strong arms. I just want to keep the sex amazing. Thanks :)
Ken, nice chatting w you tonight. Welcome to the group
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for making me feel at home here. It has been a hard road I am experiencing with my new way of life. But, all of you are making it easier on this old country BOY. I feel as if there is someone out there, here, that I might meet and possible have the sexual feeling I have been without for 4 years now. Feel like an old dried up grape, lol. You know something told me to stay and just listen to what was being said, and I am glad I did. To everyone who reads all of these blogs, give this community a chance, I know I am not disappointed and neither will you. Once again everyone, thank you for letting me not feel as if I am a freak anymore.
Hi,
I am a C6 quad (incomplete) male, 21. It has be 18 months since injury. After trying to ejaculate several times in the past, I was finally able to ejaculate a couple of times this week. While the feel and pleasure are intact, I notice the semen is somewhat watery and the color is not the same. The smell of semen is also abnormal – why? what’s wrong?
Thanks!
Graham it not possible to take my husband back to the hospital, we were turned down for all rehab, no insurance, and weve been married 6 years but he has not be able to ge a visa (he illegal) do to laws in the united states. we went home after two weeks of hospitalization with 1 hour rehab twice a week so pretty much we are doing everything at home so it a long hard road. Sex has been his question, he scared he cant and im scared to try.
Hello Everyone,
My hubby and I are trying to have a child. It’s been a bitter-sweet process of investigating what works and what we can afford.
Does anyone have a second hand Ferticare Personal for sale? We’ve heard this has great success, and the new ones are just too expensive. It would be far more intimate to use it at home than in the dr rooms as we have been.
Thank you, keep on smiling :)
Hi every one I’m new on this web I hope you guys can be freinds with me
Hi
I have an incomplete spinal cord injury at levels T10 & T12. My boyfriend and me have not been able to have full sexual intercourse yet, as things are a bit “tight” down there… With my ex-boyfriend, we did not experience any ‘problems’, a bit of Durex Intimate Lube sufficed. I think I’m sometimes just too spastic… Are there any tricks to make my body relax?
Thanks!
im an L3 spinal cord injury incomplete its been about like a month and a 3 weeks i can stand WITH balance like me holding on to something like parallel bars…. but i DO not put strength on my arms when i stand…. my right foot has regained its muscle that functions it to turn towards my face…. i can feel my thighs and my legs…. i heard usually people with lumbar injuries usually walk again… i remember telling myself i would kill myself i cant walk again… i told myself life without walking would be hell and on a fucking wheelchair… i have been through alot of pain my injury was 6 gunshot wounds in the back.. I went to an impatient rehabiliation program for 3 weeks and i was currently discharged…. my mother is currently trying to fight for impatient again because outpatient does not have many hours of the week for physical therapy and i want the best for me to walk and begin my normal life… ok to stop talking so much my question is i cannot feel my penis i tried to masturbate yesterday to porn and i did not orgasm? it did get hard but then it gets tired and gets soft again…. i have thought of using viagra i am currently a 16 year old…… but im worried as hell why cant i orgasm or feel my penis?
Hi there I’m a t-9 paraplegic and I want to know if it would work if I do a penis enlargement exercise I have lost lots of my penis size since my accident
Do you know any sex-positive, non-exploitative erotic sites that contain videos, pictures of sex with disabilities? I’ve been discussing taking that next step with a man who has a complete C6/7 SCI. Absolutely no motor abiliy below his injury. We’re both inexperienced, and this advice is great, and we’ve learned about some toys that can help achieve the true intimacy we want, but it’s hard to get over that initial nervousness. I’d love if we could find some ethical porn sites that have this sort or material to watch together as we slowly approach this step.
Graham,
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years now. He is a quadrapalegic complete, with a C5/C6 brake. He was in an accident at the age of 14 and is now turning 25. Prior to our relationship, he had never had an sexual experieince outside of kissing.
We have tried to have sex a few times. He cannot get an erection from thinking erotic thoughts, and when I have tried to help him get an erection it doesn’t last very long at all – not long enough to do anything. We have tried ringsn vibrators, viagara etc and nothing seems to work.
I’m not the type of person that thinks sex is the end all and be all. I know that there are many other things you can do to be inimate with your partner. But he isn’t very willing (or so it seems) to do any of it. I am a very sexual person in the sense that I like a lot of physical intimacy. He is not at all. Could this be a result of his SCI? Or is it insecurities on his part that could be effecting his sex drive?
I feel like I’ve tried everything to help him, talk to him, but nothing is working. I’m getting frustrated, because it seems like I’m the only one that wants it. Any suggestions? I need help.
Thank you.
Ps. Your article was very insightful thank you so much
Hi Graham,
I am a teenage male, and my girlfriend has recently been involved in an accident that left her a quadriplegic. She is a complete C6. We had only recently started dating prior to her accident, and have never had sex at this point. We have been discussing sex a great deal lately but only in fictional and hypothetical terms. But sex seems like an impossibility at the current time because she is still in rehab, and any kind of intimacy in a hospital room is definitely a challenge.
I was just wondering if I should bring up the idea of sex and sexual acts to her with more seriousness, or whether I should hold those thoughts until she is out of rehab. It is just getting to the point where it is difficult to hold off sexuality at the moment for me, as well as I know for her. However, I am also concerned with the function of any sexual acts with her, and I am nervous for how they would turn out.
Thank you for any advice
I just want to thank-you all for being so brave posting here sharing a very intimate part of your life with us. Taking the above post from Ryan given intimate details it’s still very difficult to answer. We don’t know if you are madly in love, live in a mansion or poverty, country of residence, age of consent. These obviously shape our advice. Many American teens tell me oral sex is like, not even sex, for example. In Japan it’s often not practised even in a marriage ever.
If you read the full article it answers most questions. My only sure fire advice is to talk with respect, listen with compassion, and love like it was your first or last day on earth. Penis size vagina size.. won’t matter. It’s about respect. Open a meaningful conversation then be quiet for a few days and just listen to your partner.
I singled you out Ryan so it’s only fair I answer you directly. Yes talk to your girl and use all the resources the hospital offers. Do you really want to lose your virginty in a hospital bed? If sexually pleasing yourself is more important than your girl please don’t make her life harder than it already is. Talk with her Ryan and be patient.
One day your wife/husband might ask how you lost your virginity. I want you all to speak positively and proudly of your first time.
Graham,
Thank you very much for you reply, I greatly appreciate it. I have been struggling with the logistics of my relationship for some time. Since my girlfriend’s accident and the time she has been in rehab, our relationship has turned long distance (because she has moved for rehab). So, I only get to see her every once and awhile, and when I do see her, it is not exactly like we have a “normal” relationship anymore.
Since we have only been dating for a few months, and we only see each other now and then, I would not call myself “madly in love”, however, I do care about her a great amount and have basically used any free time this summer to spend with her. What I am very worried about is ending up hurting her, since, as a very young man I am sure our relationship will not last the test of time. I feel like I am walking a slippery slope, because I want to be there for her, however, I do want to avoid hurting her feelings or making her feel inadequate in anyway. She already has anxiety that I am giving up too much of my youth for her, and I tell her that is absolutely not true (she is a very great girl worrying about ME in a situation like this). However, my doubts still remain.
Sex is not the most important factor in my relationship with her (obviously), but at my stage in life, it is becoming quite important. I just do not want to miss out on life experiences (not just sexual ones) that I normally would experience. I tell my girlfriend about my doubts, and she understands them, but I feel horrible doing so because it makes her feel bad about herself. I was hoping you would have any advice for me in the relationship in general, because I just want to help her the best way that I can, whatever that may be.
Thank you very much for everything.
Hello everyone!
I am a C6-C7 quad. I’ll try answering (Graham, hope you would not mind) some of the questions here based on my personal experiences. Hope it helps.
@ Ryan – since you have said her accident is recent and she is still in rehab, she is still in the process of discovering her body! Quite a lot of things change after a SCI. As Graham suggested, talking works best at this time. Find out what resources hospital provides – if you still choose to get physical, autonomic dysreflexia is something you guys should keep in mind.
That said, brain is the most important sex organ – engage in conversation, hold hands, be supportive. This could be frustrating times for you but what she is going through is the most difficult time of her life.
@ Chantelle – there are no easy answers on this one. It could partly be SCI and partly his insecurity or may be he has given up. Start engaging him in conversations – let him know how you feel, understand why he would not try, where he needs help etc. Different people get stimulated in different ways and with a little help from him, you should be able to get him going.
@ Jessica – I’ll keep my eyes and ears open and will let you know when I find a second hand personal ferticare. In the mean time, have you tried the $40/50 massagers? Sometimes, placing them on the frenulum just does the job.
@ UN – try a few more times. If it continues to be that way, check with your physiatrist/urologist – it could be some minor infection.
Good luck!
Hey guys,
Is there any way to get the sperm to flow through the urethra, rather than going into my bladder?
@Xeno. Thank you so much. It’s easier getting some perspective from another man with the same injury as my boyfriend. I really appreciate it.
@ Dolfy – I doubt if there are medicines or procedures to fix retrograde ejaculation (semen getting into the bladder) in SCI persons but I know people who had this problem after their injury and over time could ejaculate normally. You should keep trying.
However, if you are looking to start a family, then there are easy ways to get your semen for intrauterine/intravaginal insemination. A fertility clinic/urologist will be able to help you.
@ Chantelle – Anytime!
Thanks Xeno, I’ll keep trying…
Retrograde ejaculation typically doesn’t require treatment unless it interferes with fertility. In such cases, treatment depends on the underlying cause. That is to say, drugs may work for retrograde ejaculation caused by certain conditions.
Drugs generally will not help where retrograde ejaculation is due to surgery that causes permanent physical changes of your anatomy. Examples include bladder neck surgery and transurethral resection of the prostate. Drugs may work if retrograde ejaculation is due to nerve damage. This can be caused by diabetes, multiple sclerosis, certain surgeries, and other conditions and treatments. If your doctor thinks drugs you are taking may be affecting your ability to ejaculate normally, he or she may have you stop taking them for a period of time. Drugs that can cause retrograde ejaculation often include medications for mood disorders and alpha blockers — drugs used to treat high blood pressure and some prostate conditions.
Drugs to treat retrograde ejaculation are; Imipramine (Tofranil), a tricyclic antidepressant Chlorpheniramine and brompheniramine, antihistamines sometimes used to treat cold symptoms. Ephedrine, pseudoephedrine and phenylephrine, used in decongestant medications such as Silfedrine, Sudafed and others. These medications help keep the bladder neck muscle closed during ejaculation. While they’re often an effective treatment for retrograde ejaculation, all of these medications can cause side effects. Some of the side effects are minor, but others can be more serious. Please consult your doctor.
Thanks for the info Graham, I’ll check with my doctor…
Hello dear strangers
I have been dating a quad.She makes me feel like a very lucky man everyday.We make love and she is without a doubt one of the greatest lovers.I believe she has more to offer me then most regular lady’s.If you are handicapped please be proud and give someone a chance.I would not be as strong,confident or happy without her.
tiger6778 if you like this girl not the outside but the inside the out shouldnt matter at all. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 yrs now and honestly it is the best relationship i have had. Sex is different but you will find your way and probably enjoy the process………i know i did. Just really trust yourself…….if your not with the right person then your not with the right person has nothing to do with her chair or legs
I was recently in an accident and had a SCI at level C6/C7. I’m lucky to have most movement in my hands and arms. I’m still in Rehab, but will be going home here soon I hope. My boyfriend keeps asking me about sex and having a baby. I don’t know what to tell him. What can I expect from sex? What will an orgasm be like for me with my injuries?
Charlotte: did you read the full article? In %95 of cases a woman who can give birth before spinal cord injury will still be able to afterwards, where not, adoption is a great thing to consider. As a C6-7 quadriplegic you will most likely not feel an orgasm. Certainly not in the way you may have previously. Again I advise you read the full article, it answers your questions.
Hi, I wish someone can really help. My husband is t6 paralyses, its been 4 yrs now. We would like to have children, we have been referred to the fertility clinic here in UK. Can anyone tell me if this really works, as my husband gets erection but cannot ejaculate. The doc has said there are techniques they can use for such cases, it’s a paid service. Just anxious.just want to know if there’s anyone with same situation had any children?
Pluto: Yes a good fertility clinic certainly can help if you have tried all the suggestions in the article above to no avail. When you consider that a high frequency vibrator costing between $600-$1600 USD even if successful does not screen or in anyway test sperm for viability or motility strength etc. a fertility clinic is what we recommend. If you question the ethics or cost of a particular clinic please seek a second fertility clinic’s opinion.
HAVE SEX IS OK I HAVE SPINAL CORD INJURY C1 TO C4
Hows everyone doing? I new to this shiet but not new to being a para.ive been rolling for 9years.i have a incomplete injury…t-7. But I was wondering if this happens to anyone….I can cum while having sex but only in the morning?….dont know y…in the day I still get erections but cant cum…ive never came across a situation like mine…idk
My husband is C-5/C-6 incomplete quad. got in diving accident last year. It is hard trying to make love now compared to the awesome love we made before. But the point is that we both understand the importance of sex in our marriage. He has sensation all way to toes but can only move body from the chest up. The sensation in his penis has gotten loads better and we went through the whole pill erections and pumps and still didn’t get the results we wanted. We just started the Caverjet Injections today and it was amazing!!Plus so much cheaper and last way longer than the pills. We’ve been trying to have him on top and he gets so tired.I position him with his head on feet end of bed than have him roll over and anchor his feet inbetween the wall and materess than I slide beneath him. he’s able to do thrusting from rocking him self with his arms. But we we’re wondering if there’s any anybody whose thought of another way for man to be on top?
Hey , I’m T9 I’ve been in a chair for a while now and I’ve never had sex with a man I’m a lesbian not because of my situation but because I like women lol. People think I only deal with females because I’m in a chair but no I’m sure if I was into men id try it. But I’ve never had sex with a woman far as letting them feel on my body parts I get nervous I can’t feel it so idk what’s goin on down there is it normal to feel this way ?
I am a T-3 paraplegic and have been in a chair since I was 2 years old. I’ve never had trouble getting an erection when I was younger but now it seems I cant get up the way I used to or for as long. What can I do to address this issue? I recently started dating a girl without a disability and I wanna be able to do what I can for her.
definitely the penis injections. there $50 for month and a half supply.
I started my man at 5 units and now we using 8 and it’ll last for 2 hours. not we we need it for that long. i found we only get a instant base erection for the first 10 min but after that it’s full extention and rock hard. It’s finally nice for us to get back to enjoying each others bodies again without the added stress of if the arrousal is gonna last.
1. Oral medications are the first thing to try with SCI erectile dysfunction. Viagra, Cialis or Levitra. These increase blood flow to the penis to improve erectile function (stay hard). Then there are vacuum pumps, tight rings and vibrators. Alprostadil and Papaverine penile injections. Medicated Urethral System Erection (MUSE) where pellets placed into the urethra are absorbed into the surrounding tissue.
Medicines assistive in achieving a sustainable erection Viagra and Cialis are of no benefit to L complete injuries 99% of the time. Certainly worth a try as you may just be the 1% but it’s quite unlikely they will be of benefit to your sex life. Alprostadil however, a type of medicine that increases blood flow and causes blood vessels to expand in the penis, should help you facilitate an erection.
Alprostadil is given either by injection (brand names Caverject, Edex, Prostin VR) that are 80% effective, or as a suppository (MUSE Medicated Urethral System for Erection) 35% effective, placed into the opening at the tip of the penis. When a needle and syringe is used the medicine is injected into the side and massaged throughout the penis. These drugs take effect in 5-20 minutes and your erection lasts for about an hour in most cases.
Of course you must consult your doctor before using any such medicines. If they do not prove of any benefit to your sex life after complete spinal cord injury you are back to inflatable penile implants as explained in the article.
Side note: I know a guy who lit candles, put on soft music, jumped into bed and injected Caverject waiting to surprise his new girlfriend. Their romantic evening of love making quickly turned sour when he ripped the sheets back to reveal his full intensions. The girlfriend screamed in horror. He had neglected to massage the Caverject medicine in thoroughly and his penis was severely bent at right angles
2. Penile Vibratory Stimulation (PVS) can be used to achieve an erection, but its main purpose is to produce an ejaculate. Where a regular vibrator isn’t sufficient, 55% of men with SCI respond to a high amplitude vibrator. These are purpose made and with an outrageous $1500 price tag are mostly only used in fertility clinics. A cheaper $700 FertiCare men’s SCI vibrator is seven times more powerful than a regular vibrator and requires a doctor’s prescription. Given the 55% success rate, I still suggest a clinic first.
3. Rectal Probe Extraction (RPE) is a pretty invasive procedure. A probe is inserted into your rectum under a general anesthetic. An electric current is applied to the rectal lining to stimulate the rectum wall. The voltage is slowly increased. Most men ejaculate below 20 volts.
4. Testicular Fine Needle Aspiration (TFNA or TESA) is also invasive. For curiosity sake ejaculate I doubt your man will want some lab tech sticking a long needle into his testicles. But sometimes we have little other choice, so I will leave it at that. By all means pursue these and ask me any questions you wish. The last thing I want to do is gross you out, or turn fun love making into a clinical exercise.
Quique: that is pretty common. It’s just your internal body clock nothing to worry about. Men can produce 30 billion sperm every four weeks and considering some of the above info you are very lucky to even be able ejaculate once daily.
Sara: you may find our http://www.streetsie.com/wheelchair-hoist-sex-swing/ article interesting.
Rollingnewyorkgirl: No matter your sexual persuasion it is normal to feel anxious the first time you make love to someone. Take it slow, if they are worth it they will wait until you are comfortable and ready.
I had a question regarding masturbation. I am a C4-C5 complete quad. my accident was back in 2005, and am curious if I can still have an orgasm without the physical sensation and whether or not I will reverse ejaculate. I do have enough arm (my right arm) mobility to feed myself using the wrist splints and bent utensils. I am still able to achieve erections and recently have been trying various things to, first, keep the erections which has turned out to be more of a chore than I anticipated. Are there any tips, specially made splints, anything that can help? I unfortunately do not have a partner.
I meant to mention I cannot hold or grasp anything in my hands.
My hubby is C5\C6 complete. We’re really lucky in that we’ve found ways of making amazing love. It is sooo much better than with a ‘normal’ person. I found that his body can feel things even though he himself cannot. So I’ll play with his penis at the same time as kissing him deeply, and his body knows, it send all kinds of hormones pumping though his blood. His most sensitive area is his neck…. and it is really really a wonderful play area to spend time there. He in turn, seems to instinctively know where to touch me. He has to get far more creative, because we don’t bother with intercourse. I just have to position myself to be sufficiently within reach of him. We have a few toys and sexy lungerie which we sometimes use, and adds to the enjoyment and the mood. And I found a little digital anal stimulation has enormous reaction physical on him. No real penetration is needed, just a gentle pulsating rythm. He is fortunately able to climax, from stimulation on his neck and ears alone.
We found what works by relaxing together and spending a lot of time just enjoying each other and exploring. It’s a woman’s dream come true.
Hey I’m just wondering if any of you have used a vibrator to ejaculate and if you have what is the cheapest one you have used that worked and where did you get it
I am male in wheelchair, 15. I can feel 1/2 my testicles and i can tell if i am having an erection. I should be able to ejaculate simply by masturbating after i start to put a vibrater on my franeum every other day right? Yes i know this is a wierd question for a 15 year old.
Jmc05: If you are indeed a complete C4-5 quadriplegic you are very lucky to be able to achieve an erection at all.
Jessica: Thankyou for sharing, it’s always nice to hear a dream come true.
Randy: What works for one may not work for another. I believe the vibrators used in fertility clinics operate on on a high frequency. If you wish to purchase a cheaper version vibrator from a “sex shop” go for the highest frequency you can get.
James: Being a 15 year old male in a wheelchair is not enough information for anyone to say what you could expect sorry.
Just wondering what the most powerful vibrAtor anyone has found on amazon
Let me provide more info. Paraplegic, I can start an erection by touch. I have feeling down to the upper edge of my left leg and 1/4 of my upper right leg. I have some bladder function (I can feel it but need to cath every 4 hours).
hi guys my husband is on a wheelchair he has T4 across his back injury, he does ejaculate by masrurbatin not by natural sex, we both wanna kids how can we have kids??? please help
Is it really that rare for someone at my level of injury (complete C4-5) to achieve erections without the use of medication(s)? In all honesty my body has never had any sort of trouble in doing so.
James: The kind of high speed vibrator we keep mentioning here should work for you.
Agus: When able to ejaculate yet unable to fall pregnant through natural means you should visit a fertility clinic to see if you are both fertile and get further advice from there.
Jmc05: Yes it is rare, a complete spinal cord injury means there is no motor (muscle movement) or sensation below the level of injury. Men with a complete injury nearly always have problems achieving a sustainable erection without use of medications or devices. If you can move or feel below your level of injury you are incomplete.
hi guys i just want to know how to control my blader probles???? anyone pliss???????
Hi Christian, see this post mate: http://www.streetsie.com/supra-pubic-catheters/
Any people wana be frends I am 24 and a c5 quad from SA.
I’M A QUAD C1-C4 IS IT SAFE TO USE VIAGRA
Mi novio nació así….y es lo más maravilloso que me ha pasado en la vida!!!! Lejos de toda su discapacidad es normal en todo!!! NO hay nada en el que me haga dejarlo…..
hi all
have some questions. as a c1/c2 incomplete quadriplegic i can obtain an erection by physical touch and on its own.
when i masturbate i cum pretty much every time. however, the last 2 times my gf has done oral and masturbated me, i think i ejaculated into my bladder on like 5 occasions each time. erection stayed for like an hr and a 1/2.
i am yet to cum when we have sex though. i have some sensation in my penis but sometimes it can be a bit painful.
anyone else having these issues
I’ve been in the chair since setp 3 2003 I’m c6 c7 and can get it up with the pills but they are so damn $ I recently found the pills they sell in the sex shops works better and they are 80% cheaper just have to ask which ones are the best. if i can help anyone out with any question pl email me glad to help anyone for anything. me and my wife are freaks but also with any other questions.
hello all
have a very good 2013
Im infuriated by the information going out from here by whomever is writing the ‘facts ‘ above .
To be more specific.About erections , How can you say that paraplegics cannot get erections from visual stimulus.Im a paraplecic for 37 years -T4 with sensory sparing. My erections are not involantary spasmic events but come from any normal stimuli . so Please stop generalising for heavens sake.I even masturbate with proper orgasm and ejaculation after 37 years in the wheelchair . Maybe im just the exception but by generalising like you do youre doing more harm than helping.
Some response would be appreciated.
elvin
As somebody who works with a lot of patients who have to self-catheterize, this was a really interesting article to me. A surprising amount of people ask me about sex-related stuff even very on in the treatment when I think their minds would be on other things–guess that’s human nature for you.
I’m never quite sure what to tell them because I know it varies so much case to case, but I always try to be as optimistic as possible. I think this page (and the comments) could help some of these people learn more about what to expect from their situation.