Xmas Thoughts

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    • #7793
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere.

      Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

      Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit.

      This stressed Santa even more.

      When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.

      More stress.

      Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.

      So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink.

      In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke

      into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.

      Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door.

      He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

      The angel said, very cheerfully, “Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you.
      Where would you like me to stick it?”

      And thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

    • #11347
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      HaHa

      Merry Christmas to all Spinal Tap Angels and Elves.

    • #11348
      Graham – Admin
      Keymaster

      Merry Xmas everyone – carefull on the roads. 8)

    • #11349
      Graham – Admin
      Keymaster

      Your presents may be late this year…

    • #11350
      Tamstar
      Member

      Oh Graybags thats horrible !! My Xmas Thoughts:

      According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring..

      Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a
      girl.
      We should’ve known.
      ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

    • #11351
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I love it tam good on you just goes to show women are superior hahaha

    • #11352
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      This ones pretty neat _ snow globe .swf

      http://ww12.e-tractions.com/snowglobe/globe.htm

    • #11353
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Love the snow globe :)

      have a very funny mp3 but its too big is there any other way to post it

    • #11354
      Graham – Admin
      Keymaster

      You can attach up to 500KB in your posts.

    • #11355
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      its 512 lol too big, pity cause its funny

    • #11356
      Tamstar
      Member

      Giddyup Santa!!!

      He’s got the moves – maybe we should invite him to the 2000 post party, or tell him about the Desmo Bar, looks like he’d go alright in the jelly ring!!!

    • #11357
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      heres a nice one

    • #11358
      oncewas
      Member

      Christmas has been cancelled apparently !

    • #11359
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      What is on everyones xmas list

    • #11360
      Graham – Admin
      Keymaster

      @Cat wrote:

      What is on everyones xmas list

      Peace on Earth.

    • #11361
      Tamstar
      Member

      That sounds good Graybags – I’d settle for peace just in my household at the moment though, lol!!

      Good health, happiness and love is on my list for all – for xmas & the new year :love:

    • #11362
      Graham – Admin
      Keymaster

      Kids, 2 together are fine.. 3 or 4.. and they start fighting, especially girls.

      My first wish seems impossible, so I’ll make another.. 5 days on a fully catered tropical island with Jennifer Garner as the barmaid, Susie Wilks as the housemaid, and Aria Giovanni.. well.. she’s there just to be made mine.

    • #11363
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I bought myself a xmas pressie this morning a new handbag lol ( very boring ) but I wanted one

    • #11364
      Tamstar
      Member

      Good on you Cat, I bought some new clothes today too as a pressie to myself – atleast if you buy it yourself you know you’re gunna like it.

    • #11365
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      exactly lol ungrateful dont we sound?

    • #11366
      Mish Mash
      Member

      @Graybags wrote:

      Kids, 2 together are fine.. 3 or 4.. and they start fighting, especially girls.

      My first wish seems impossible, so I’ll make another.. 5 days on a fully catered tropical island with Jennifer Garner as the barmaid, Susie Wilks as the housemaid, and Aria Giovanni.. well.. she’s there just to be made mine.

      You said your first wish was impossible….. So the second wish is … :rolleyes:

      Nah Hope it comes true for you…

      My wish, Ive asked Santa for a job, change of address and some romance! Obtainable … maybe 2 out of the 3 :)

    • #11367
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Hope they come true for you mish

    • #11368
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Nothing to do with xmas but it sounded good lol

      5 Secrets to a Perfect Relationship

      1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a
      job.

      2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

      3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn’t lie to
      you.

      4. It is important that a man is good in bed and loves making love to
      you.

      5. It is important that these four men don’t know each other.

      ba-da-bing! ha……….mo

    • #11369
      oncewas
      Member

      Cat, your not implying that us men can’t do more than one thing at a time are you :(

    • #11370
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      ummmm want me to answer that lol :)

    • #11371
      oncewas
      Member

      N O lol

    • #11372
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Chicken lol

    • #11373
      Tamstar
      Member

      HAHAHAHA I love it Cat, lol.

      I’m sure there are men out there who can do all of the 5 requirements though – somewhere!

      If I had to choose one though I’d take man number 4.

    • #11374
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      mmmm no 4 now i would say thats an easy one its the others lol

    • #11375
      Tamstar
      Member

      Oh no – I meant number 3 – the honest one, goodness me, yes the sex one is easy. lol me.

    • #11376
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      lol how could you mistake that next time i will let you know of the mistake lol

    • #11377
      Tamstar
      Member

      Dont know how that happened, must have been thinking about something else as I was typing number 3, lol.

    • #11378
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Might just forget about the guys and find a good wife lol

    • #11379
      Graham – Admin
      Keymaster

      No.. your brain got it right the first time.. hehe. :twisted:

    • #11380
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Ha Ha graybags

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